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Sex after 40: Why aren’t you having it?

There are many key factors to consider when you think of what makes a relationship work.  A couple needs to communicate, love unconditionally, and be intimate for their relationship to grow and work.  However, over time or after a certain age having an intimate relationship with your partner becomes more difficult.  Some people just get comfortable in their day to day routine with their spouse or partner and start to forget what brought the spark to their togetherness.  Others lose interest or no longer have a desire to be intimate with their partner.  When any of those happens, the relationship becomes at risk for failure.  Sure there is a certain point when intimacy may no longer be possible, but does it have to be around 40?

Unfortunately for some, sex after age 40 becomes a little bit more like work than play.  A couple will have to make an effort to keep the flame alive, but that does not mean they cannot have fun while working.  Both parties need to put in the same amount of effort to find a solution.

There are several tricks to try when keeping the intimacy in a relationship.

Feel good about yourself.  Try doing something for you, for example get a new hair cut, start a new workout program or buy some new clothes.  It is important to feel good about yourself before you consider returning to an intimate relationship with your partner.  The more sexy you feel, the more sexy your partner will find you.

Talk it out.  Maybe you forgot what your partner likes in the bedroom, but if you talk about what you like the sex will be more enjoyable and both of you will be getting what you want.

Keep things interesting.  The same old routine is bound to get boring.  Some couples might try a new position or location, role play or use a natural sex lubricant. Whatever it is that you want to try, just be sure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the idea before proceeding.

Communication is the key to every great relationship, so talk about intimacy with your partner and you will be sure to keep the romance alive.


Monique Rowe is a guest writer that writes for Methods of Healing, an alternative medicine and natural health site.


This post was written by a guest writer for Prime Parents Club. We are not currently taking new guest writers.


  1. 40MomsClub

    February 22, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    Sex after 40: Why aren’t you having it?… #relationships #40MC

  2. Jacqueline W.

    February 22, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    WAIT.A.MINUTE. We’re supposed to be having sex, too?!? *SIGH* ;)

    • rockle

      February 23, 2011 at 6:32 pm

      nobody warned me about how hard it was going to be to schedule mommy-daddy-time with a 4-year-old. is that why summer camp was so big in the 70’s and 80’s?

      • Jacqueline W.

        February 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

        HAHAHAHAAA at “is that why summer camp was so big in the 70′s and 80′s?”

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