Regardless of whether you want to or not, you probably have one or more children that you are closer to than others. Perhaps you bonded more with your youngest child because you had the opportunity to stay home with him or her from the time they were born. Or, maybe you are closer to the child who seems most like you. Whatever the reason, favoritism among children within families is real. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you are still being fair. Below are 10 ways to be fair to your kids when parenting multiple children.
* Be sure that you are expressing your love equally. It can be difficult to express love equally if you have a child who is rebellious or has a personality that is contrary to yours. Regardless of how much you may butt heads, you still need to express your love equally for all of your children. Let them know everyday how much you love and care for them.
* Don’t allow the child you are closer with to get away with things. If you tend to favor one child, you may unintentionally let them him or her getaway with more. To be fair in parenting, you must make sure that you have the same guidelines for all of your children.
* Be sure to be fair during birthdays and holidays. Gift buying can be tricky during the holiday. A fair parent will ensure that all the gifts are equal. Set a budget for each child and stick to it. This way you know you have spent the same amount of money on each one.
* Spend time with all of your children. As children get older, they will want to spend less and less time with you. However, you should make an attempt to spend an equal amount of time with all of them. Spending time as a family is important to nurturing family relationships.
* Don’t place the blame on the other children. It can be easy to place blame on children that you aren’t close with. Don’t jump to conclusions and disregard the fact that the child you are closest to can and will do wrong. Be careful about placing the blame on other children when you really don’t know the entire story.
* Be fair in punishing. The consequences you choose for your children should be the same all throughout your household. You can’t punish one child for doing wrong without punishing the other. It is important to be fair in punishing or your children will begin to resent you.
* Allow everyone to be involved in one sport or extracurricular activity, not just the older children. This is an important step in being fair. Just because you have a child who may excel at a particular sport doesn’t mean you can forget about the interests of your other children. Similarly, younger children want to be involved in fun things too! Be fair in what you all your children to participate in.
* If you do for one, do for the other. This is self-explanatory. Don’t buy for one child and not take your other children into consideration. Treating them equally is treating them fairly.
* Don’t be sneaky! It is unfair to be sneaky around your children. Whether you are sneaking money, gifts, or food to your children, it is not fair unless you are doing the same for all of them.
* Encourage your spouse to be fair. If you are going to make the attempt to be fair with your children, your spouse must be on board too. Together the two of you can make sure that all of your children are treated equally. Favoritism will only cause hurt feelings and resentment from members of your family. Do what you can to treat everyone the same.
The tips above are ways that you can be sure you are being fair when parenting multiple children. Do you have areas that you need to work on to ensure that all of your children are treated equally? Doing so will mend broken relationships and make life better for you and your children.
This article is written by Marina of 1001WallClocks an online store of modern wall clocks that will give a classical look to your home.