Prime Parents Club

Parenting Confessions | I Love You, But I Don’t Like You Right Now

 

You may have heard someone say (or perhaps you’ve said yourself), “We thought about having another baby, but then we thought about all the dirty diapers and the late night feedings, and we decided we didn’t want to do that again.” I understand this feeling  completely. Life with a newborn is no joke. I can see why many parents have no desire to repeat those months again, especially if they’ve done it a few times already.

Prime Parents Club Parenting Confessions Don't Like My Kids

However, I would take two years of babyhood if I could just hit the fast forward button on my son’s toddler years. My sweet, adorable baby boy has turned into a holy terror. He slaps, pinches, and pushes around his older brother on a daily (hourly) basis. His current favorite activities include throwing the dog’s water bowl across the kitchen, sticking toys in the toilet, and trying to climb into the oven while it is turned on. And who is the only person he wants to be with? Me. All the time. He’s clinging to my legs while I’m cooking dinner. He’s trying to rip the curling iron from my hands when I’m getting ready for work. He’s trying to climb into my lap while I’m using the restroom. I have a 25 pound blond parasite that I can’t seem to get rid of long enough to eat a warm dinner or heed nature’s call in peace.

Once upon a time, the time between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. were considered “mommy time” in our house. Everyone else was asleep, and I had that hour to do whatever I wanted. I could read, blog, catch up on television, whatever I felt like for those precious 60 minutes. Well, guess who figured out when my alone time was? No matter what time I put him to bed, my son wakes promptly at 6:05 a.m. so he can have me all to himself. It’s very sweet that he wants alone time with his mommy, but that means mommy’s alone time is all over. As soon as he’s up, I’m changing diapers, filling up sippy cups, and watching Sesame Street.

I love my son. I love him with all of my heart. I just don’t really like him much right now. I know that probably makes me a horrible mom, but he just isn’t a very likable person right now. He’s always grumpy, unless he’s inflicting pain on his brother or trashing the living room. And I’m always grumpy because I never get a break.

I know it’s just a season, and that one day it will pass. I remember when he was just a little baby, and it was his big brother who was driving me crazy with toddler tantrums. And yes, a year from now I will be looking at a big boy and wondering where my chunky little toddler went. But right now? It’s hard. Still I know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. One day, I will both like and love my son again.

And then he’ll become a teenager….

Crystal Paschal is our general contributor giving us great posts across all topics. Crystal is the owner and founder of It's Fundamental, a children's book blog. She also blogs about family life at Mom For Less. You can find It's Fundamental on Facebook, and follow Crystal on Twitter at @Mom4Less.

15 Comments

  1. Tracey Reagan

    April 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Honey, you are singing my song!!! That’s the whole reason I send my kids to school. It’s not the top notch life skills he’s learning; it’s not the advanced trig that he’s exposed to as a third grader; it’s not the top quality meals served in the cafeteria; its not even for the socialization: IT’S SO I CAN GET A BREAK FROM MY KID(S)! I know I sound like a horrible, cold, and callused parent – tell me something I haven’t heard before – it’s just that in order to preserve our relationship I need them to go to school. Knowing this about myself, knowing that I need that separation to maintain my sanity is a blessing and I make no bones about it. My hat goes off to those amazingly brave and devoted parents who home-school their children. I have accepted that I will never be one of them.

  2. Rachel @ The Lazy Christian

    April 22, 2012 at 4:52 am

    I feel you, sister. Mine has been good the last few days, but he was CRAZY the weeks before that. And being pregnant with my second, I’ve gone to tears thinking, “Why am I having another one? I’m clearly a terrible, yelly mama!” I’m really glad he’s giving me a little reprieve before the new baby gets here. :)

    • Crystal

      April 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Congrats on the new baby! I hate when I get to that point, when I feel like a yelly momma. I know it’s not his fault; it’s just the stage he’s in. But sometimes I hit my breaking point!

  3. Brandy Brady

    April 19, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    my little boy is 2 will be 3 in November..he’s not my issue at this time it’s my 8 year old girl that has my “not liking” her. She’s got a mouth on her and she don’t listen to a think we say. I would take the newborn to 4 year old age anytime at least at that age that can talk back to you as much ;-)

    • Crystal Paschal

      April 19, 2012 at 9:34 pm

      Ugh. I HATE backtalk. I guess that’s one advantage I have with a toddler, his vocabulary isn’t big enough for backtalk yet! Though I’m sure he would if he could. ;-)

  4. Prime Parents Club

    April 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    I feel this way 73 times a day. Thanks for being brave enough to say it.
    /jackie

    • Crystal Paschal

      April 19, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      And now it’s on the internet forever! Hopefully he never googles this.

      • Prime Parents Club

        April 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

        I printing it for him and putting it in his graduation card.

  5. Chunky Mama

    April 19, 2012 at 11:43 am

    We are in the same boat!! I’ve been saying this exact same thing about my 2yo boy for WEEKS. I love him – he’s got the best smile I’ve ever seen – but he’s a complete asshole right now!
    And what makes it even harder is that on his rare “good” days, his twin sister starts acting like a jerk!

    My 4yo has been really great, so I’m just trying to survive another 20 months until the twins get there.

    • Crystal Paschal

      April 19, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      I had to laugh when I read this; I used the word “asshole” to describe my youngest just last week. Mine definitely trade off on their good days, too. My youngest has been more difficult in every way, and some days he makes me question my parenting skills!

      • Margaret

        April 20, 2012 at 6:52 am

        *looks around to see if any kids are in earshot*

        I actually sometimes describe my kids to the hub as “little f-ers”. I’ll happily turn in my “good mom” card for that one, too. ;)

        • Crystal Paschal

          April 21, 2012 at 11:45 pm

          I don’t know if I’ve ever spoken that phrase about my kids, but I’ve certainly thought it! I once joked with Jackie that I am going to start a Twitter account from the POV of my son called @FUMommy.

  6. Margaret

    April 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Crystal–I can so very much relate to this. Your boy Is at a challenging age!!

    I know with both my kids (now 8 & 10) I had those same feelings at various times– Love the kiddo–hate the current stage. It ebbs and flows. Like childbirth, you do sort of forget the agony when you get to a more pleasant stage, though ;)

    ((hugs))

    • Crystal Paschal

      April 19, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      Thank you! It really is comforting to know I am not the only one who feels this time. Parenting can get a little lonely, ya know?

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