I’ve always liked the Duggar family–I liked that they were a Christian family who were dedicated to homeschooling all those kids. I liked their values and how they treated each other (at least how they appeared to treat each other on television). However, I must admit, I’ve often marveled at the fact that the mom is always happy and soft spoken–even with 19 kids. Additionally, why don’t you ever see the kids crying or bickering or throwing fits? (I’ve always just chalked it up to good editing on the show’s part.)
Apparently, the Duggars follow Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI) homeschooling program. Admittedly, I know little about this program, so I had to do a little research. What I came across most was that a little anger is acceptable, but mainly that happiness is the only “acceptable” emotion.
“One key idea teaches the importance of a joyful countenance and a light in your eyes. This is a measure of how mighty you are in spirit. Not only that, it is also an indicator of your respect for authority. Bill Gothard explains in the Basic Seminar session on How To Relate to Four Authorities that if you look unhappy, you are publicly shaming your authority. In parenting, that means that if the kid looks unhappy, it is a personal offense against the parents. He also teaches that unhappiness is the result of ungratefulness, and that anger comes from not yielding our rights to God. This boils down to the idea that if you are not cheerful, you are not pleasing God,” reports the Home Educating Family blog.
This is where it starts to sound a little like Scientology parenting to me.
Again, as a Christian, I know little about Scientology–probably the same amount that most of you see and read about in the media. However, the push to homeschool, the “silent birth” and suppression of some emotions and pretending to be happy reminds me a little of what the Duggars are practicing.
Astra W., who was raised in the Scientology principles as a child, says, “If I was ill, my mother gave me a ‘touch assist’ where I would lie down and close my eyes and she would touch me with her finger and ask, ‘feel my finger.’ This was also done until I felt better. I never felt better from theses [sic] processes but would have to pretend I did because she wouldn’t stop until I said I felt good. Throughout my years in scientology, in all the auditing I received I never felt good at the end. I made up wins to get it over with and generally felt relief that it was over and dread that I would have to have another session. I kept this secret always because it is scientology policy that if a person does not get gain from auditing, it means they are a suppressive person.”
Scientology ensures that people are following their principles through extreme techniques.
“Children as young as 6 … can undergo ‘security checking,’ aka ‘sec checking in Scientology. The Village Voice reports this act uses an interrogation device, called an e-meter — along with a host of questions that come from an ‘ethics officer’ — to see if members of the church (kids included) are hiding anything,” reports iVillage.
“In theory, parents help construct a self-contained world for children, so all their teachers — including dance instructors and soccer coaches — ideally practice Scientology.”
The issue that I have with these religions is the suppression of healthy emotions for kids. If kids aren’t allowed to show anger or hurt or have to pretend that they are ok when they’re really not, how will they develop regular life coping skills? Life is messy and happy and painful and exciting and upsetting and … all of those emotions wrapped up together. What’s wrong with kids expressing that?
Image: David Castillo