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Are 40-Something Women Really the New ‘Girls Gone Wild’?

 

Lately I’ve been reading a lot online about 40-something women–mainly about how we are bored with our lives and our spouse and our job and family, so when we get away from them (like at a conference) we just go completely … wild. According to some of these accounts, we are sexting random people, considering divorce, contemplating new careers and drinking and coking our way through our forties like we can’t stand the thought of making it to 50.

Moms in Forties Out of Control?

According to a post on TheAwl.com, 40-something moms are out of control. Amy Sohen, author of the article, writes:

“Once a month I get together with half a dozen moms [in an affluent Brooklyn neighborhood]…We call ourselves Hookers, Sluts and Drug Addicts. Some work and some don’t. The working ones complain about their jobs and the non-working ones complain about their husbands. We go to different restaurants, drink too much and make fun of the Catholic at the table because she is pregnant with her fifth child. (She is a Slut.) We argue over which of each other’s husbands we would have sex with if we had to.”

She goes on to wonder, “Why do moms in my generation regress, whether by drugging, cheating, or going out too late and too often?”

Mary McCarthy wrote a follow-up article on SpliceToday.com where she talks about articles that cover this new ‘moms gone wild’ trend and how women are judging each other for it.

“Both articles describe a 50 Shades of-Grey-with-a-side-of-Magic-Mike inspired trend in fortysomething women burned out on responsibility and obligation, who discover themselves with older kids, changed hormones, and increased sex drives.”

Huh.

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40 Isn’t Tedium nor Death to Me

I get going on with the girls. Hell, I get hating your life, your kids and your husband on occasion (sorry, honey). However, I don’t relate to these women in the articles at all. Sure, sometimes when I get together with girlfriends we may drink and laugh a little too much and we always talk about inappropriate stuff. And then other times? We don’t. (Ok, we always talk about inappropriate stuff, even without alcohol.) However, I’m not drugging and sexting guys and lusting after 20-somethings and running out to buy the latest faux erotica. And, I assure you, I’m not the prude  McCarthy refers to in her article when she says, “It’s often true that some of the women who talk shit about other women are feeling so guilty about their own acted on or ignored feelings that they project their misery onto women who are happy. Or, they are super conservative religious types who have no understanding or tolerance of the loose-broad behavior associated with less saintly types.”

Just now, at 43, I finally feel like I’ve come into my own. I’m finally getting a rhythm in my life that doesn’t revolve around my weight, or lack of confidence or what others think. I finally feel … like me. If these women are “happy” (as McCarthy says), then why are they numbing their lives once a week? (Just wondering.)

Look, I’m not judging what these other women feel or what they do. Honestly, something I’ve learned as a 40-something is that I really don’t care what others do. I’m just saying that I don’t relate to these women. That’s not my experience with the forties at all. What about you?

 

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Along with being a contributor to PrimeParentsClub.com, Jacqueline Wilson is: Appalachia Advocate~Supporter of Women~Writer~Accidental Pit Bull Advocate. Founder and executive director of Monkey Do Project and co-author of 50 Shades of Frayed: What Happens When 'I Do' Becomes 'Not Tonight': A Humorous Mompilation.

1 Comment

  1. Margaret

    August 21, 2012 at 9:56 am

    You know…I didn’t get married until I was 30. But now that I’m 42, I just don’t live that life either, Jackie. I don’t think moms in our generation are all “going wild”. And don’t misunderstand, I know from wild–I had my wild days and got them out of my system in my twenties. I’m much more content in general in my forties that I could have hoped to be in my twenties or even thirties.

    And, believe it or not, I have no desire to go out partying now, nor screwing some guy in the back of a van. I actually have a good thing going with my Hub, and that kind of crap just sounds so…high school, somehow. I actually feel sorry for the writer of that piece…she doesn’t sound very happy.