When I was in high school and college, there was no big push to make your pubes pristine. When summer came, you tidied things up down there. Other than that? You pretty much went au naturale.
Today? Not so much.
To make your “private area” acceptable for today’s society you have to wax, shave, put jewels on it and bleach your butt.
Who started all of this anyway?
In the 1970s (and before), many women let it all hang out. It wasn’t unusual to see a woman in a bathing suit with some bush peeking from behind the bottoms. It was, after all, the seventies…remember the Afro? (Duh.)
The women who didn’t want it all hanging out, trimmed, waxed or shaved the “hair down there.” This was generally just around the edges so it was tidy when you wore a bathing suit or short shorts. No biggie.
Enter the late 80s and the explosion of the “Brazilian”–a procedure whereby wax is heated to 140° F and poured onto a woman’s labia, peeling away the dried, hardened wax and the hair along with it (by its roots).
However, it was the eighties and people were skeptical. They thought having no hair “down there” was weird, and too little girl like. Until? Sex & The City.
Once Carrie and gals got Brazilians, the trend took off and became a big deal. Completely bare is still a hot item for many women–whether they shave it or wax it.
“Every woman should try a Brazilian wax once. The sex they have afterward will make them keep coming back,” Eva Longoria told Cosmopolitan Magazine in 2006.
It’s hard to say exactly when people started shaving shapes into their pubic hair, but there seems to be a consensus that it became popular in, of course, fashion.
“Tom Ford had Mario Testino photograph Carmen Kass for a Gucci campaign exposed and waxed into a ‘G’: fashion’s ultimate instrumentalization of pubic hair,” Jezebel reports.
Lighting bolt or initial, anyone?
Once we waxed it all off, then we wanted it back. Enter the merkin–a tiny wig for your hoo-hoo. (Uh-huh, really.)
Word has it that after years and years of waxing it bare, it’s hard for some women to grow it back. So, when they want hair, they go merkin. And, you can get them in a variety of colors, textures and styles (like pink feathers!).
Some women think this is fun. I just think, “DUDE! Urine! Blood! Bodily fluids!” (I mean, have you ever seen wet feathers? EXACTLY.) I guess you could always go all “Bozo the Clown” for a good laugh.
Wow. As if the Bedazzler wasn’t enough for our clothing in the 80s, today we have come up with a way to bead up our va-jay-jay.
With vajazzling, you add jewels or beads (in shapes) to your pubic area to make it all pretty. Supposedly. (Think those little kid bead tattoos, except for your pubic area.)
A little trivia to impress your friends on game night: Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt first coined the term “vajazzling” according to Vajazzling.com.
So, just to get you up to speed: we’ve grown it out, trimmed it up, cut shapes into it, shaved it off, put a wig on it and jeweled it. Then, someone (probably a man) thought, “Hm. Exactly what else can we make women spend their time on in the grooming process? Oh yes, their a**holes.”
Anal bleaching–yes, having someone bleach the area around your butt hole–supposedly became well-known after (who else?) a porn star mentioned it on “Doctor 90210.”
A professional uses a cream to lighten around the anus and the inside of the butt cheeks to give the whole area a more even tone. (You can also do it yourself,but not sure I would recommend that.)
Of course, not all women are doing the trendiest things.
“Brazilian waxing is largely practiced among the young, white, heterosexual Sex And The City and Gossip Girl demographics,” reports The Atlantic.
However, the post on Jezebel.com suggests that pubic hair is back in again based on what we’re seeing with fashion ads depicting nude models with–gasp–hair down there.
Thank goodness, I say.
(Oh, by the way, in case you are wondering, according to surveys most twenty-something guys have never seen a woman with pubic hair and deem it “disgusting.” Yep, those are your sons out there, people.)
I’ve trimmed, I’ve shaved, I’ve gone completely bare and let it go to au naturale, and, you know what I think? I think I’m already exhausted enough. I can barely make time to get my hair cut on a regular basis (“regular” in this house meaning every six months when I can squeeze it in between running a business, a four year old, a Destructo Dog and a Ninja Cocaine Kitty). Now, I have to worry about my butt hole appearing clean and fresh enough?
Now, where is that bra I needed to burn?
What are your thoughts on pubic primping? What do you want to try, or which ones do you think are ridiculous?