Prime Parents Club

‘Slut-Shaming’ or Just Promoting Modesty?

Who are the real 'slut shamers'? Have you noticed lately how it’s totally uncool and not politically correct at all to voice your opinion if you’re a conservative person? Look, I’m not even talking about religious beliefs or political viewpoints. No, this time I’m hitting on how you aren’t allowed to speak up if you’re modest person or if you think that someone else–especially a woman–is promoting herself in a way that may send the wrong messages.

What is ‘Slut-Shaming’?

The phrase “slut-shaming” is a new trendy way of saying that teen girls (mainly) are discussing body types and behavior in what is viewed as a negative way. It entered the mainstream last year when a Tumblr user known as “officialsabrina_xo”  uploaded a meme–a series of pictures conveying a message–that addressed how young women are dressing. This meme, known as “Hey Girls, Did You Know…,” went through a series of pictures that ended with “Your boobs … go inside your shirt.” And then it hit the fan. An onslaught of backlash came down with people calling officialsabrina_xo a “slut shamer” and telling her it was none of her business how other girls dress or what they do. She removed the meme from her Tumblr, but still became the focus of cyber bullies.

ALSO ON PRIME PARENTS CLUB : Are Your Teens Participating in Sex Games?

I recently saw an interview with this young woman and she stated that she was simply tired of seeing young girls flaunt their bodies and sending messages that they may not want to be sending. That was it. It wasn’t directed toward any one girl and it was her view of how young women respect their bodies.

Huh.

That seems like a pretty mature thing for a young women to say in a day and age of “anything goes.”

So, when did reminding young women to be modest with their bodies and careful about sending wrong messages become evil? This young woman didn’t name anyone; she didn’t cyber bully anyone. Instead, she merely stated what she believed–that girls should cover themselves and be modest about how they show their body.

What’s wrong with that?

Who Are the Real ‘Shamers’?

Search the Internet for “slut-shaming” and you will see posts and articles everywhere about how teens (mostly) are cyber bullying others by “slut shaming” through these memes. But, here’s the thing, who is the real cyber bully here? Let’s take a look:

The Daily News recently posted an article citing “Hey Girls. Did you know? That you spread Nutella…Not your legs” and the aforementioned meme of “Hey Girls, did you know, that uhm, your boobs go inside your shirt?” as part of the issue. Then, The News went on to refer to the meme “Hey girls, did you know that uhmm…Your boobs…can go wherever they want….because it’s your body” as “positive.”

Wait…

So we’re supposed to vilify young women promoting a more modest lifestyle, but praise those young girls who say do whatever you want with your body? And then, we’re supposed to call the young women who are promoting modesty “slut shamers” because they are speaking out about being more modest and making better choices with their body? I don’t know about you, but this all seems backwards to me.

Women, moms and teens: Don’t be fooled by this “trend” and jump on the bandwagon by letting yourselves or your daughters believe that these young women promoting modesty are “slut-shaming.” Don’t get caught up in a society that is asking us to be OK with the sexualization of our daughters and those who are putting down those  standing up for a more modest lifestyle and less sexualization. I say these young women are heroes. We should celebrate them. I hope their parents are proud and remind them of it every single day. I know I would.

Image: Imagery Magic

m4s0n501
Along with being a contributor to PrimeParentsClub.com, Jacqueline Wilson is: Appalachia Advocate~Supporter of Women~Writer~Accidental Pit Bull Advocate. Founder and executive director of Monkey Do Project and co-author of 50 Shades of Frayed: What Happens When 'I Do' Becomes 'Not Tonight': A Humorous Mompilation.

12 Comments

  1. Saphone

    February 1, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    I’m sorry, your article is pretty biased. It’s your blog, say whatever, I know. Though really, I see a lot of disagreement coming from both sides. That being said, I think acceptance of others to make whatever silly decision they please, when it comes something like showing cleavage. I’m sorry, but I could preach to you (which I actually am) over all sorts of issues, but I think there are more important things to worry about. Please promote self respect without bringing others down with you

  2. Tracy @ Hall of Fame Moms

    January 25, 2013 at 8:23 am

    I’m a bible believer and I know the bible speaks about this kind of attitude, check these out:

    Isaiah 5:20-21 “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” [Emphasis on the first part.]

    “Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!”

    Proverbs 30:12
    “There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.”

    Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”

    You know, if the girls want to let their boobs hang out (for example) they will attract the wrong men and within the group of “wrong” men you’ll find some rapists and murderers.

    God’s word is true. I’ll stay on His side:

    Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

    The world is indeed “backwards” and perhaps moving as far away as fast as it can from what is right (in God’s eyes).

  3. Shannon Goodson

    January 24, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    So I just have to wonder…are all these young women who are so adament about dressing how they want to and acting how they want, going to be complaining someday (probably soon!) about how they are not able to get a good job and/or be taken seriously? Or if they do get the job, complain about the harassment they get from co-workers or the enforcement of the dress code? The workplace has come a long way, but is still somewhat conservative when it comes to behavior and appearance (except for certain industries), regardless if you are in a male or female dominated environment. I think many are going to be in for a rude awakening!

    • Tamara

      January 24, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      That’s such a good point, there are those who post all these things on Facebook not realizing that colleges and businesses look at these things.

  4. Tamara

    January 24, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    I was just thinking about something about this. I think its also harder for our teens to dress modestly because they aren’t as available it takes time to search for it. When we get my daughters shorts it takes forever it seems to get them long enough. And that’s at kid stores I think its even worse for the teens.

    Also I don’t think a lot of teens realize that you can dress modestly with out going totally ‘Amish’ That there is a middle grown where you can be pretty and trendy with out being ‘out there’

  5. Tamara

    January 24, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    My oldest son refuses to date a girl who does not dress modestly. If her skirts are to short or her tops are to low or to short he refuses to give them the time of day. He had a classmate come over they had a project they were working on, they sat at the table he said ‘Ill be right back’ then ran to my room grabbed one of my t-shirts and told her to put it on since it was appropriate. (he grabbed mine with permission so she wouldn’t read more in to it if it was his. You know how girls can be) She just looked at him and put it on. He then told her that how can she respect her body if she is flaunting it that way, its best to protect what you are given until you are ready and at 16 you aren’t ready. He finished with ‘Real Men’ Prefer to see you with a nice fitting modest shirt rather then seeing whats under it. He did say it with respect and calmly so it wouldn’t be taken as he was picking on her. I seen her a few weeks later she had a nice fitted dress that was about to her knees and everything was covered. She ran to me and said thank you for raising a respectful son. Her mom also called a few days later saying she had to go buy a new wardrobe for her daughter because of it, and she is so glad to see the difference.

    At this point my daughter is only 9 and she still wears what I say, I am glad that her school still has the shorts have to be below your finger tips rule, we are doing what we can to keep her modest, I am hoping with a older brother who talks and thinks like that will reinforce it.

    I think it takes balls for anyone especially in that age group, to say Hey its not right. It takes a lot to go against the norm.

    • Becki

      January 24, 2013 at 1:11 pm

      Your son sounds pretty amazing!!

    • Prime Parents Club

      January 25, 2013 at 12:21 pm

      I kind of want one of my oldest daughters to date Tamara’s son. LOL (too creepy?!) /jackie

      • Tamara

        January 25, 2013 at 1:43 pm

        If he wasnt engaged now it wouldn’t be lol. Maybe we should talk him in to teaching a class

  6. Christin

    January 24, 2013 at 11:35 am

    Awesome post! I applaud any young woman who stands up and speaks her mind for what is right rather than trying to please the masses! The same people crying about girls being free to “put their boobs wherever they want”, are usually the same twits complaining about a woman modestly breast feeding in public! But that is another soapbox…

  7. Becki

    January 24, 2013 at 10:59 am

    The one and only flame war that I’ve ever been a part of, started because I made a comment about a meme that compared Marilyn Monroe to an image of a girl with a fake tan, lots of jewelry, and a trucker hat making a duck face and flashing the peace sign at the camera. There was a blog post about how it was a terrible meme and we shouldn’t judge girls today based on their duck face pictures.

    I made a comment on a friend’s G+ that I preferred that we look up to Marilyn Monroe who has poise and elegance and class, rather than looking up to someone like Snookie. I pointed out that if girls wanted us to see them as more than their duck face pictures, then they should present themselves to the world as more than those pictures. If they don’t, then we can’t.

    I was attacked by a bunch of women who thought I wanted to go back to when women didn’t have rights and were only sex objects. They said that the girl in the picture may be brilliant and have dreams of pursuing and advanced degree and who was I to judge her?

    I attempted to argue back that by posting a picture like that, she is asking to be judged not on her brains or her dreams and aspirations, but on her tan and her lips and her fashion and her ability to be cool and fit in. Not everyone who posts a picture is asking to be judged, but when girls post pictures of their cleavage and their duck face, I’m pretty sure they are trying to present themselves as something to the world. I just wish that girls were presenting themselves to the world with more class and respect for themselves.

    Apparently I was not allowed to have such an opinion. Having the opinion that women should aspire to be classy is the equivalent of wishing women would return to the dark ages. So I learned my lesson. Not that women are allowed to present one thing to the world and expect us to see something else. But that if I voice my opinion that girls should have a little self-respect, then I am classified as anti-feminist movement and anti-women’s rights.

    • Prime Parents Club

      January 24, 2013 at 12:01 pm

      I’m glad you shared this, Becki. I’m appalled that we, as women, can’t express differing opinions without someone screaming YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO NOT BEING ABLE TO VOTE, DON’T YOU?!

      Look, stating “A” about something doesn’t necessarily accelerate us to “Z.” Because I want my daughters and other young women to RESPECT their bodies and also parents to fight against SEXUALIZING our daughters doesn’t mean that I’m asking for female rights to be pushed away. It’s a ridiculous wall of protection that people stand behind when they say that because they know many won’t speak out for fear of looking like we are trying to push women down. It’s convenient and easy for people to gang up; it’s difficult to be the one standing out.

      Kudos for you for speaking up. I wish I would’ve known. I definitely would’ve supported you.

      “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” MLK Jr.

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