I have had a surreal past couple of days in relation to man part hygiene. Hear me out:
Not too long ago, I heard about a French company that invented scented underwear for men. According to the Daily News, “the briefs will be scented thanks to micro-capsules full of homemade perfume that will be incorporated into the cotton used to make the underpants in the Lille region of northern France.”
The underwear work by releasing scented perfume through the capsules when the man moves around. The scent will last 30 washes. (Seriously? Do we really want to give men underwear that makes them not want to wash them after each use?!)
Then, I saw former NFL player Tony Siragusa on a commercial talking about man pads. (I mean, I still haven’t figured out why a man would need a pad? What and from where are men leaking?) I honestly had to flip the TV menu up to see what channel I was on because I thought it was some Saturday Night Live skit. (It wasn’t.)
That same night, I unintentionally stumbled across an article about wet wipes specifically for smelly man butt.
NBC News reported, “Dollar Shave Club, known for its cheap subscription service for men’s razors, announced this week it will branch out into flushable wet wipes. Meant as a toilet paper alternative, the One Wipe Charlies run $4 for a pack of 40 including shipping, but are only available with a razor purchase.”
All of this information came onto my radar within a matter of days, which says one thing to me: clearly the apocalypse is near. But, don’t worry about the zombies, they’ll go after the clean, nice smelling man ass first.