Personality & Birth Order

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Believe it or not, there is something that influences your personality even before you take your first breath. This is your birth order. Research shows that a person’s birth order has a direct link with his or her personality. This site is dedicated to informing you of how your birth order has shaped you into who you are today, on how your birth order influences your education, and as a guide to both parents and educators on dealing with each specific birth order type.

Children are truly the future of the world, and by understanding what influences their negative & positive personality traits, we have a better chance of making the future amazing.

First Born Children

The firstborn child is usually the child with the most attention directed at him/her. This common event is part of the reason this particular child turns out the way he/she does. There are two typical types of firstborn children, compliant and aggressive. The firstborn in your family can be either one of these two types, and have these typical traits:

First Born Compliant Traits

  • People Pleasers
  • Crave Approval
  • Nurturers
  • Caregivers
  • Reliable
  • Conscientious
  • Cooperative
  • Team Players
  • “Grin and bear it” mentality

First Born Aggressive Traits

  • Movers and shakers
  • Natural leaders
  • Perfectionists
  • Driven
  • Conventional
  • Always have things under control
  • Assertive
  • Want things their way

Firstborns are often very sensitive to criticism as only children are. They tend to be perfectionists and feel as though they will never quite measure up to the people their parents are. Parents must reinforce to their children that it is okay to fail and that everyone does so, including themselves. It may be necessary to reveal some of your flaws to your firstborn child so that he/she can see that no one is in fact perfect and that this is okay.

It is also a good idea to give your firstborn an outlet for stress, whether it be a sport, music, writing, or art. This is necessary because at times firstborns tend to go into stress overload, and are often too proud to ask for help. Therefore, it is a good idea to let them know that you are constantly able and willing to help them. It is also a good idea to let your child know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of maturity.

These two types of firstborn children may seem very different, but they do share quite a few characteristics.

First Born Common Traits

  • Energetic
  • Logical
  • Ambitious
  • Enterprising
  • Scholarly

First Born Fun Facts

  • Famous firstborn children: Walter Conkrite, Dan Rather, Oprah Winfrey, Rush Limbaugh, and Arsenio Hall
  • More than 1/2 of the U.S. Presidents were firstborn children
  • 21 of the 23 first astronauts were firstborn children
  • 2/3 of entrepreneurs are firstborn children

First Born Strengths

A greater level of confidence, taken seriously, patient, organized, strong powers of concentration, confidence to dream and plan, feel supported, and feel they will be respected for what they do.

Often choose careers that require a high degree of precision such as law, medicine, computer programming, or architecture, no gray area in the work field, in control, often the boss or owner of the company.

First Born Weaknesses

Have an innate fear of being dethroned, perfectionists, overachievers, feel as though they are never good enough, tend to be selfish with possessions and attention.

Do not like to be told what to do, have a hard time with creative projects, do not work well with no direction, do not gravitate towards jobs such as sales, advertising, art, or music, as there is no structure or stability in these careers.

Middle Children

Middle children are quite often the most difficult children to both read and to raise. Middle children are quite often referred to as the “Mysterious Middle Child”, this is due in large part to the fact that there are two types of middle born children. These two types of middleborns are not as clearly defined as the two types of firstborns, they do not possess simple “names”, therefore for confusion’s sake, we will refer to them as Middle Born #1 and Middle Born #2.

Middle Child #1

  • Loner
  • Quiet Shy
  • Impatient
  • Uptight

Middle Child #2

  • Outgoing
  • Friendly
  • Loud
  • Laidback
  • Patient

Middle born children are quite difficult to pin down, however, they tend to be the opposite of their older sibling. There are, however, a few characteristics that both types of middle born share.

Middle children can be somewhat tricky, as they often seem rebellious, and the complete opposite of your first child. However, this completely natural, and it is something every parent should expect. No middle child wants to blend in with the woodwork, they want to stand out and be noticed. Often middle children tend to feel as though they are not special, and may consider acting out or rebelliousness a way to get some attention.

To avoid these actions, I suggest you show your middle born child just how special they really are. Take notice of his/her special talents, and be sure to let them know you love them. Middle children are often outgoing and make friends easily, however, if your middle child is somewhat of a loner, and shy, it might be a good idea to explore some classes together with other parents and children. This way your child can play with other children his/her own age and get quality time with you, something they believe they never have. Sing your middle child’s praises, just do not go overboard making their head inflated. The middle child will often leave themselves out of activities by saying things such as “They don’t want me to come anyway.” Do not let this happen, reassure your middle child that they are just as much a part of your family as anyone else, that everyone loves them, and wants them to join in!

Middle Child Common Traits

  • Flexible
  • Diplomatic
  • Rebellious
  • Attention seeking
  • Competitive
  • Peacemakers

Middle Child Strengths

Peacemakers, mediators, able to keep secrets, not spoiled, take risks, are realistic, get along well with others, read people well, independent, loyal to supporters, competitive, and imaginative.

Choose careers that allow them to be creative such as sales, art, advertising, or a career that requires negotiating, well suited for management because of level-headedness, and the ability to be unbiased.

Middle Child Weaknesses

Hates confrontation, stubborn, cynical, suspicious, and rebellious.

Do not do well with a hierarchy system, don’t like strict rules, prefer to work at their own pace, and therefore may not complete tasks on time, do not work well with details, do not work well with cut and dry material, prefer to make things more creative than needed.

Middle Child Fun Facts

  • Famous middle born children: Donald Trump, Ted Kennedy, Tim Allen, Julia Roberts, and Rosie O’Donnell
  • Love to stand out
  • Want to “do their own thing”

Last Born Children

Last born children tend to be the easiest to define when it comes to the correlation between birth order and personality, this is mostly due to the fact that there is only one main type of the last born.

Last Born Traits

  • Risk takers
  • Idealists
  • Good sense of humor
  • Hard-working
  • Immature
  • Attention seeking
  • Secretive
  • Sensitive

Last born children are often considered the baby of the family, and live up to this role. At times it is difficult for the last born child to find his/her place in the family, as the first and middle child has already left huge footprints to follow in, and carved their own niche into the family.

Last born children are skilled at getting their way and will test their limits up until the very end of time. The last born is often manipulative and realizes that he/she can get away with much more than anyone else by simply giving you that babyish grin. Do not fall for it. You must not give in to your last born child just because it is easy, stick by your guns. If the child wants something you wouldn’t let someone else have, then don’t let them have it, or if they do something you would punish another child for, punish them. If you do not maintain the same consistency with your last born as you did with your other children, then resentment could follow.

The last born child is also attention-seeking and will do just about anything for a good laugh. Do not let them get away with too much, however, and be certain that he/she knows that there is a time for play and a time for seriousness. It is is also a good idea to show your last born different children from different birth orders to get them acquainted with kids their own age who are different than they are and who don’t treat them like the prince/princess everyone claims they are.

Last Born Strengths

Outgoing, sociable, affectionate, caring, creative, empathetic, and confident.

Careers in sales or invention corporations work well because of their ability to sell things, including themselves, work well alone, want to be the boss, and just do their own thing at their own pace.

Last Born Weaknesses

Spoiled, manipulative, immature, self-centered, and capricious.

Do not like to be tied down to commitment, can be perceived as “cut-throat”, try too hard at times, alternative routes in life may make them the odd man out.

Last Born Fun Facts

  • Famous last-born children: Howard Stern, Jay Leno, Ralph Nadar, Bill Gates, and Danny DeVito
  • Tend to go against the norm
  • Make the biggest stirs in life
  • Know no boundaries

Only Children

Only children are often referred to as “First Borns in Triplicate”, this is due to the fact that these children are extreme versions of firstborn children. Onlies, as they are affectionately called, tend to be an extremist in all aspects of life.

Only Child Traits

  • Mature faster
  • Get along well with older people
  • Responsible
  • Self-Centered
  • Perfectionists
  • Attention seekers
  • Use adult language
  • Prefer adult company
  • Have difficulty sharing

Only children are special types of birth order, in the sense that they are capable of being any of the three “main” types of birth order. However, most of these only children do possess characteristics commonly associated with the aggressive firstborn child.

Only children are very complex and could present somewhat of a challenge, as it is difficult to say no to your baby. However, saying no is imperative in having a well-rounded child. Only children tend to be spoiled and believe the world revolves around them. Therefore, I recommend at the earliest age possible putting an only child in a playgroup. It can only be for an hour a day, but it needs to happen to get this child familiar with other kids and to realize the concepts of sharing, and that everything does not revolve around them.

An only child will often be sensitive to criticism, therefore do so in a constructive way. Parents should also not try to push all your hopes and dreams on your child as this could result in horrific consequences. If a child feels as though they have to be perfect to obtain your love and respect, he or she is more likely to have stress and anxiety. It is important to let your child know you will love him/her no matter what and that you just want them to do their best.

Only Child Strengths

Trust their own opinion, prompt, ambitious, enterprising, energetic, set goals, good problem solvers, and ambitious.

Choose careers similar to those of firstborn children such as law, medicine, and architecture. Like black and white concepts and often prefer to work alone or be the boss, which accounts for their success.

Only Child Weaknesses

Self-Centered, fearful of trying new things, criticize themselves and others, worry too much, feel they are always right, inflexible, and too busy to see the big picture.

Do not like to be told what to do, often stray from teamwork situations, or take too much of the responsibility. May not respond well to criticism, and therefore may not improve on areas that are flawed.

Twins

Twins can be any one of the three ‘main’ birth order types, therefore it is nearly impossible to describe them. However, what can be detected is which of the two children is the leader.

Rarely are parents blessed with twins, however, if you are one of the lucky few, embrace it. Twins are a special birth order type and basically make up their own rules. There are no guidelines for any of the birth order types, but twins especially are out of this league. It is very important that you let each one of your children be unique. I would not recommend dressing the kids alike, even when they are younger, as it sets both you and other people up, for constantly referring to them as “the twins”.

You must realize that yes while they are twins, this is only one aspect of who they are. It is necessary to let them develop into their own and to respect and love them because they are different, not to punish them for it. It would also be a good idea that once they express interest in a specific area, to let them explore it more on their own. This will help because their twin will not be by their side in all situations and it is necessary to let them make new friends, to just grow into their own.

Common Leader Traits

  • Resemble firstborns
  • Aggressive
  • Loud
  • Outspoken
  • Opinionated
  • Intolerant

Common Follower Traits

  • Resemble shy middle child
  • Shy
  • Loner
  • Quiet
  • Blend into the background
  • Undefiant

Twin Strengths

Have a constant companion, someone who understands you, have a connection with someone, confident, multi-taskers, driven, want to stand out.

Twice the connections, twice the references, someone to bounce ideas off of, two minds instead of one, often choose careers different than their twin, want to be an individual, feel they need to stand out, therefore, they go above and beyond.

Twin Weaknesses

Identity crisis, may not feel unique, hid behind twin’s shadow or shadowed over twin, not a lot of privacy, feel invaded.

May be lost without twin, may not take well to being alone, if the leader of the two, he/she may try to overshadow others as he/she did with their twin, if the follower of the two, he/she may look for another person to be their “mother hen”.

Twin Fun Facts

  • Famous Twins: The Olsen Twins, The Coors Twins
  • Often have identity issues
  • May share their face, DNA, or both
  • Either Identical or Fraternal twins (Identical: look alike, DNA is different, Fraternal: often do not look alike, DNA is the same (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are actually fraternal twins, although they seem to share the same face))

 

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