Many parents have changed their parenting style to more reflect a democratic parenting style and have become better parents and mentors at the same time. We would like to share with you how to recognize if you or someone or family you know are permissive parents and how to improve the life of your children and yourself with good parenting skills.
- Permissive Parenting
- Democratic Parenting
- Authoritative Parenting – Supportive yet Strict
- Authoritarian Parenting – Considered by Some as an Extreme Approach
- A Comparison Between the Authoritarian and Democratic Parenting Style
With permissive parenting, parents do not discipline their children and seem to let the children control all aspects of their own lives and sometimes even control the parent’s behavior to their own wants. Using a Permissive parenting approach is not considered to be the best way to communicate with your children.
Don’t Neglect Your Children With Permissive Parenting
A lot of parents may be permissive parents at one point in time using an easy going type of relationship with their children…though as a parent simply because you they think that if they don’t give their kids everything they want they will be rejected by their children is not good. There is also the issue of simply being lazy with overall parenting responsibilities.
The permissive parenting style can be very harmful to not only the parents but the children. Overindulgent parenting can develop horrible personal issues with the children as they grow older.
Not only is the permissive parenting style an issue for the relationship between the child and their parents but everyone around the family who has to deal with the Childs’ frequent disruptions. Have you ever been in a grocery store or shopping mall and had to listen and watch a screaming child throw a tantrum in public? This is a sign of a child suffering from their parent’s indulgent parenting. Most of the time you will see the parents trying to calm down the child by giving in to whatever it is they want. This is not healthy for the child.
Some common effects of parents that are permissive can have both short and long term effects you should consider.
The short term effects can consist of behavior problems, unappreciative children, and irresponsible children. The permissive style of parenting is just patching up the problem at hand temporarily. There will also be a general lack of respect for actions and the consequences for actions.
The long term effects can consist of resentment toward parents for not setting clear boundaries, inability to set boundaries on their own behavior as the child gets older, Strong resentment and problems with any type of authority as the child becomes an adult. This will hurt the Childs’ ability to focus on school work or work any type of job in the future.
It is essential to correct this method of parenting as soon as you realize there is a problem either with your own children or anyone you know. The best style of parenting is neither very indulgent, easy going, or very strict but instead a parenting style that is in-between and fair for both the parents and the children.
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children’s behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, “try to catch their children being good” and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without many expressions of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don’t explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, “Because I said so.” Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
While there are those that have different names or alternative style types of parenting you can get a better view here of the Democratic Parenting style compared to others out there.
If you are a practitioner of the authoritative parenting style or even just a supporter of the philosophy behind it, you probably have been faced with a mixture of praise and criticism from other people. Most of that probably comes from parents, as many times each family believes that their way is the right one. Ultimately, though, you and your partner must be the ones to figure out a way that works for your whole family. No amount of pressure from the media, friends, family, or others can force you into playing a role with your children that is not right for you.
Authoritative child rearing is all about having a supportive yet strict environment in which you guide your children to proper behaviors and actions. You can be a best friend to your child, and that likely will be great- for a short time, that is. Without the right amount of nurturing through “tough love”, so to speak, it is easy for things to go awry with your children and the management of your household. There are three other Baumrind parenting styles that parents can follow, and they each have their own advantages and disadvantages. Although your choice of a parenting style should be rather intuitive and based on what your vision of your relationship to your children is, it can help you to review these styles to gain an understanding of what fits with your ideas.
The other three types of parenting styles are permissive parenting, authoritarian parenting, and uninvolved parenting. The psychologist Diana Baumrind determined that these four parenting styles exist, after conducting a study of over 100 children in pre-school. The results of this study and the conclusions that Baumrind drew from them were quite groundbreaking during the early 1960′s. These distinctions in Baumrind parenting styles are based on the level of nurturing and warmth exhibited, expectations of control and maturity, disciplinary strategies, and communication styles. Authoritative child rearing typically will lead the child to be happier, have better self-esteem, and be more capable and successful in life.
Take a look at examples of authoritative parenting, to determine if this is how you want to continue or start treating your child. Examples of authoritative parenting include, but are not limited to forgiving the child instead of punishing him or her; a willingness to listen to and answer questions; and creating a democratic household, among many other things. There are no definitive answers on what style is best for children, but authoritative parents seem to have the best results overall.
Authoritative parents obviously have their work cut out for them. This style is not particularly easy to maintain, even though the rewards far outweigh the rocky times as your family adjusts to it. If this is not how you were raised or what you are used to doing at all, keep an open mind and be patient. Even if you experience a “fail” one day, pick it back up the next.
In the interest of keeping everyone safe and relatively happy, make this adjustment to an authoritative parenting style in steps. Your children are far more likely to go along with it this way. Remember to keep the ultimate goal in mind- building a great relationship with your children as authoritative parents, while guiding them in a gentle, yet deliberate way.
Getting to grips with child-rearing can be a difficult thing. There is no manual to follow, and many parents feel like they are just making it up as they go along. The kind of style that you approach this with is going to be different as well. Depending on the nature of your child and how they respond to certain things, you may feel that it is best to take the stance of authoritative parenting. Authoritative parents tend to use what some people may view as an extreme approach when it comes to parenting. Characteristically, authoritarian parents will set high goals and expectations for their children and push their children to meet them. There may be higher punishments when it comes to this style of parenting, and not everyone is keen on this idea. Effective parenting styles can differ from one person to the other, but for many, the democratic parenting style seems to hold a bit of promise. It takes a step away from the permissive parenting style and allows people to see things in a new light. Parents are always looking for a way in which they can not only relate to their children but give them the proper guidance and support that they will need for the future.
When it comes to shaping your child’s behavior, it is important to realize that he or she has less experience of life than you do. Most parents who take on the authoritative approach to parenting will simply set down the rules and enforce them. Authoritarian parents can sometimes create bitterness between themselves and their children, and this can cause problems in the long run. A democratic parenting style is going to provide people with a different view. Authoritative parents may feel that this style is too “soft”, however. When it comes to using the democratic parent style, there are distinct advantages over that of the authoritative parenting style.
One of these advantages is mutual respect. As the child gets older, effective parent styles will give him or her greater responsibility. Parents will also have a lot more respect for their child due to their making of informed decisions. This is the key here: information. By informing your child of certain things when it comes to gaining freedom, they will be able to make those decisions that will help them in the long run. Effective parenting styles like this do not just aim to educate or to punish. They also aim to give children a taste of what life itself is like.
Authoritarian parents may like to adopt certain aspects of the democratic parenting style for a number of reasons. While they may still hold that keeping high expectations of their children is a good idea, it is alright if they fail now and then. Not everyone can be perfect, and authoritative parents will also realize that. It is important to do one’s best, but it is also important to let your children know that you have a support system there just in case. Authoritative parenting can appear to be a much more stable style for some, and it certainly does have advantages that permissive and even democratic parenting styles can end up missing. Here is a helpful video that helps to explain the parenting styles of authoritarian, permissive, and democratic methods.
Ultimately, you are preparing your child for the adult world. They are going to be alone out there, and they are going to be making their own decisions. When it comes to things like this, it is important that they realize how much responsibility they have. Having the strong backing of authoritative parents can help, but the democratic parenting style can often provide a greater amount of support. It does this by allowing the children to realize that they are responsible for their actions, and therefore will prompt them to choose the right ones.
A mixture of methods is sometimes the best thing to choose. Parents are there to control and protect their children, but they are also mean to act as teachers and guides. Getting this balance right can be very difficult and will take a lot of work. When it comes to effective parenting styles, authoritarian parents will sometimes need to mix democratic and authoritative parenting styles that can bring about great results for all.